Strengthening Discernment
Being a Child of Lilith and a Magdalene. Remembering to understand what I have forgotten feels like such a fucking maze.
However, I am still grateful to be on this path. I have gotten to experience such amazing Magick and I want MORE. I want MORE Expansion, Growth and Power.
I am destined to live out my Soul’s Purpose, to deepen my Divine Power. Since I am a Child of Lilith and a Magdalene High Priestess I expect challenges. Great Power is never simply given; it is Honed and Practiced and Cultivated.
For the past few years I have been trapped in a warped Energetic Entanglement with Wanderer. Today I was given guidance. What came through was Truth that is Ugly, Twisted, and Sad.
Patriarchy has done such a great job of distorting relationships. The concept of having Power Over Another runs so deeply in our Toxic Culture. It has become so Automatic. Most people are Blinded to this Truth.
Many, many lifetimes ago, our Souls made a promise to each other. I had bought into the Promise of Love. He withheld Truth. He wanted Power Over Me. He wanted to Control me. He wanted to Possess me.
The Twisted Intimacy and the Power that Combusts when one takes the life of another…I am not sure if I have the right words to describe that kind of connection.
To put it simply; it is Disturbing.
That is NOT the kind of connection I crave, demand and expect in THIS lifetime.
He struggles to see the Beauty WITHIN Him. He Struggles so Deeply with this.
From this lifetime. I remember when he was a child. When we were both children. I remember thinking, “He has so much Beauty all around him. He is SO Beautiful!”. I wanted to Protect him. I wished for so much Love to come his way because he deserves it. He has Forgotten that He is Love, too. He is Love.
He is Love.
He is Love.
He is Love.
He has Forgotten this. And it looks like he will NEVER remember this. This hurts my Heart So Much.
Throughout the years, I would check in on him via social media.
Still so Beautiful…at least on the Outside………
I continued to wish him well. I was hopeful he was experiencing so much love and admiration and connection. Because he deserves it. We are all deserving of Love and Connection.
So many men struggle to see the Beauty Within Them. Since they cannot acknowledge their own Beauty and Divine Creativity, unconsciously what they do is siphon energy from the women in their lives. Most of them do not know they do this. For many women, this is a contributing factor to developing autoimmune disorders and other chronic illnesses.
Did I really think I would make it to the age of 40 without some Entitled Asshole trying to Trap me?
Yes.
I really did think that.
These past several years have crumbled my ego. For years I looked down on people who were pursuing love (or what they believed to be love anyway) and I would judge them. Condemn them, “These dumb Bitches. Why don’t they ever learn?”.
True Love really does come from Within.
For much of this life I have poured so much energy into being as Boring and as Uninteresting as possible. And It Did Not Work. I see the Error in this.
Now.
I am pouring ALL of my Energy into my Sovereignty.
Into my FREEDOM.
I want someone new. I want someone else.
I want someone new. I want someone else.
I want someone new. I want someone else.
I do NOT want this person. Not ever.
The Distorted Connection between us spans across Space and Time and it goes so deep. I cannot envision Repair between us.
I can only ever envision spilt blood between us.
I deserve the Freedom and Space to Create the life that feels the most Authentic and True to me. I deserve True Love.
And so I will continue to strengthen ALL of my Boundaries and Protect my fucking Energy.
There is so much more to this World than meets the naked eye.
May Peace Be With You.
Much Love.
Music
Gemini Feed…..BANKS
Waiting Game…..BANKS
Doll Parts…..Hole
Everybody Scream…..Florence + The Machine
One of the Greats…..Florence + The Machine
