iceberg

“C is for Cuckolding

Your boyfriend’s cuckold kink is most likely a subconscious, erotic response to a sexually charged fear. While most of us don’t eroticize our fears, a number of us respond to sexual fears or even traumas by incorporating them into our erotic imaginations. And what do many straight men fear most? Being cheated on”.—Dan Savage from Savage Love From A to Z: Advice on Sex and Relationships, Dating and Mating, Exes and Extras

So, basically people are icebergs. Maybe we see 3-5% of what is conscious that comes from within a person, everything is submerged in the subconscious. And who knows what individual people are aware of. I will add if a person is consistently demonstrating cognitive distortions in the way they think and communicate; it is likely they have little to no self-awareness. Exploring the subconscious mind requires silence and patience, two experiences our culture has gotten really bad at.